Consenting Adults: David Gordon Green's Snow Angels

David Gordon Green's first two pictures, George Washington and All the Real Girls, were so good it was only a matter of time before the magic would begin to wear off. Those movies were uncommonly realistic slice-of-life portraits, the reason for their success due to the painfully authentic characters and the way Green (and cinematographer Tim Orr) captured the way a small town atmosphere can effect the people who reside there. His third movie, Undertow, still maintained the visual beauty but lost the rest due to a plot that was too heavy handed for its own good. You can sense Green really trying to get back to where he was in the beginning with his fourth effort, Snow Angels, but while his other movies dealt mostly with adolescents, this one also focuses on adult relationships.

The idea I found most appealing here involves how the teenage characters respond to the dysfunctional interaction between the adults. This is mostly observed through the eyes of Arthur (Michael Angarano, excellent), a young man awkwardly experiencing love for the first time in his life. We see skepticism in his actions when Lila (Olivia Thirlby, also excellent) first comes on to him, which makes sense given that his parents have just separated and then shortly after, Arthur sees his father (Griffin Dunne) with another woman. Naturally, he is angry and confused. But that doesn't stop him from trying to find a connection with Lila in hopes he won't mimic his father's behavior. There's an incredibly sweet scene where Lila sleeps over and Arthur brings her breakfast in bed.

Arthur and Lila's scenes are the highlight of Snow Angels, without question. Each moment between them has a tenderness that's missing from most movies about young love. If there's a problem here, it's that we know from Green's earlier pictures that he is capable of pulling off this material well. It's when he gets into the territory of the adults that he really falters. Look, for instance, at the scene where Arthur's father tells his wife (Jeanetta Arnette) he's leaving her. The actors give it all they've got, but the dialogue sounds like the stuff you'd expect to hear on a soap opera. Same goes for Arthur's conversations with his father after the separation. Instead of really trying to show the emotional wounds these two have, we're forced to settle for the same old harsh realizations. At least he fares better with his mother, who is genuinly enthused when she finds out her son had overnight female company (she's equally proud and jealous that her son "got some").

If the troubles between his parents weren't enough, Arthur also has to deal with a marital battle between his former babysitter, Annie (Kate Beckinsale), and her nutjob of a husband, Glenn (Sam Rockwell). She is trying to make it as a single mom by waitressing, while he gets drunk a lot, makes threats, and prays to God. Glenn is aggressively trying to win Annie back, but she won't have it. Besides, she's too busy screwing her friend Barb's (Amy Sedaris, solid) husband (a cartoonish Nicky Katt), not realizing of course that she's destroying someone else's marriage. Thanks (or no thanks, really) to Glenn, most every scene between he and Annie is a piece of overcooked melodrama, whether it involves Glenn trying to give Annie pictures of their daughter or him taking her to dinner. If the dialogue has a stale ring to it, the phony tension is elevated a few levels too high due to Rockwell's rickety performance.

I'm not sure what Sam Rockwell was going for here. I know he can play unstable well (Confessions of a Dangerous Mind being the greatest example), so it's rather disheartening to see a such a genuine talent try so hard to earn sympathy and fail. On the flipside, Kate Beckinsale is terrific as Annie. Since she basically upstages Rockwell in every scene they share, it only makes the flaws of his performance stand out even more. It's strangely fascinating to watch them onscreen together since they are never able to strike a comfortable balance. What I mean is, it's crucial for the audience to believe these two people have a real past together, and yet I never got that impression. I honestly felt like their relationship did not exist until their introduction in this movie, an issue that could only have been resolved had a different actor been cast as Glenn.

Annie and Glenn are sadly supposed to act as the movie's anchor. Because of this, I had a difficult time being optimistic about whether or not it was going to get any better. The picture's not boring; there's just very little human interest when you take out the teenage love story. Annie and Glenn's problems build first to a tragic climax, which is meant to pave the way to the shocking conclusion. Both stages are handled as if they're afterthoughts, particularly when referring to the final scenes. Snow Angels strains too hard to earn the ending it chooses; sure, we can see it pushing in that direction, but there's hardly any reason to care once it finally arrives at the intended destination. The events function as plot devices, conveniently plugged in just so the movie can jump at the chance to pull the audience's strings before the lights go up.

Green and Orr have made a visually stunning movie that works overtime to cover the weaknesses in the script. The snowy landscape is shot as a place of constant mystery and fear, and while there are moments where the audience can almost feel the chill, it only resonates to the fullest extent during a scene where Arthur makes a discovery at a frozen pond. Despite the movie's visual appeal, Green often distracts from it with a number of puzzling shots where the camera simply wanders off into nothingness. More than anything, it feels like a cheap attempt to do something artistic. These moments truly frightened me, because they made me worried that the once promising Green is running out of profound and insightful things to say (his next movie, Pineapple Express, did not improve matters). The fact he's been chosen to direct the remake of Suspiria holds a bit of anticipation that maybe, just maybe, he'll be able to find his way again.


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Copyright, Hell and Beyond, 2008

No Flesh Shall Be Spared: Richard Stanley's M.A.R.K. 13 (aka Hardware)

I saw Hardware for the first time right when it debuted on home video. I was probably fourteen years old and needless to say, it scared the shit out of me. Since VHS movies were not available for purchase until they had been out a while, I was forced to make a copy of the one I had rented, which I proceeded to wear out. At the point of its release, I had never seen anything quite like Hardware before; the look of it fascinated me, as did the bizarre characters, and the climatic suspense continued to unnerve me with each viewing. The picture was ignored when it came out in the fall of 1990; sadly, most folks labeled it as a rip off of The Terminator. I heard for years that there was an uncut version floating around, different mostly because it restored the gore removed from the U.S. cut. Thanks to Ebay, I acquired a copy; in other words, I paid $15 for a cheap bootleg.

To this day I still haven't seen the movie, called M.A.R.K. 13 overseas, in its original widescreen format (one can only hope Anchor Bay will eventually rescue it). I guess it hasn't bothered me too much because watching it on DVD with a crappy full screen transfer is the way I grew up with it (don't get me wrong...I'd still love to see it restored and reformatted). Re-visiting M.A.R.K. 13 for the first time in a number of years was a rewarding and odd experience. It's not scary anymore, but it does still manage to provide a number of solid jolts, due mainly to writer/director Richard Stanley's effective camera setups. Interesting he's able to get so much mileage out of the action considering the camera hardly moves at all. There are a good number of current directors who could benefit from studying Stanley's work.

Richard Stanley is definitely a better director than he is a writer. The dialogue and basic story of M.A.R.K. 13 (apparently based on a comic book called "Shok") are quite routine and empty of surprises, but Stanley is so gifted with his visual storytelling it's sometimes hard to notice. There are some apparent themes flowing throughout the piece, some of them well handled while others are a bit confusing. The movie sets up its obsession with eyes at the opening when it shows a closeup of the heroine's face, eyes closed. In a sense, this is an early indicator she's going to survive, given that the characters' need to see things is what ultimately leads to their deaths. Even more crucial though, is the fact that many of the movie's victims all have a desire to look at bare flesh, an idea that can tie in with the Bible verse that shares the picture's title.

Flesh is a dangerous thing in M.A.R.K. 13, not just in a voyeuristic context, but also in regards to how much of it gets pierced and destroyed. A key image in the picture shows Moses (Dylan McDermott, in a role originally intended for Bill Paxton!) in the shower with his girlfriend, Jill (Stacey Travis). One of his hands is made of metal, and when it starts to explore her body, the camera moves in to capture how rough the texture of the hand is on her skin. Equally as thorny is the fact the first thing the movie's killer, a robot, sees when its eyes open is two people having sex. It's at this moment that we realize how strong the eyes/flesh/metal dynamic is going to be. Virtually every metal object in the movie is given a phallic shape, especially when pertaining to the robot's weapons (in one scene, the robot stalks the heroine and it literally looks like it's going to rape her to death with a drill).

The picture features several shots of characters staring into the eyes of the robot, each one shown from the latter's POV. It's as if the robot is as uncomfortable at being stared at as the humans are, a theory that develops relevance when Jill's neighbor (William Hootkins), a disgusting and slimy pervert who spies on her through a long, phallic telescope, comes over to her apartment and notices her blinds are closed. He naturally re-opens them, the resulting punishment occurring when the robot gouges his eyes out. In the end, the only character to not suffer is Shades (John Lynch), Moses's friend. First off, he wears sunglasses, and when the light does make his eyes visible, they're closed. Also worth noting is the scene where Moses and Jill reunite. They begin to get intimate, but instead of sticking around to see what happens, Shades wisely leaves and locks the door behind him.

Amidst the absorbing subtext is a story not worth caring about. The movie takes place in a post apocalyptic wasteland where all the buildings are either factories or power plants and metal is the greatest commodity. Of course, the city is surrounded by endless miles of desert, known here as "the zone," and the few people who make a living do it by selling scraps or sculpting metal parts together. Moses buys a bag full of robot parts from a creepy drifter as gift for Jill, not knowing of course that his newly acquired prize is a failed government experiment capable of reassembling itself and causing total chaos. Aside from being armed with a number of weapons, the robot also carries deadly substances in its fingertips. If that's not enough, there's also a good bit of talk about a new population control plan that's supposed to keep people from having children (the robot, as expected, is the answer to this problem).

The movie attempts to cover up the familiarity of its setup with critiques on America and religious imagery. Moses plays himself up as a military hotshot, complete with big guns and a menacing knife. In his eyes, this makes him superior to Jill, and he treats her as if she is incapable of taking care of herself. At one point, he makes it known that he is "divinely protected" due to his military involvement, a statement that is seen as naive given his fate. The American flag is referenced when Jill decides to spray paint it on the robot's head. It's a disturbing image, especially since the movie is saying this non-discriminatory killing machine is a representation of the flag plastered across its face.

The religious undertones are hard to pin, as they never seem to have any real context. Sure you could say the state of the world hints at the absence of God's presence, but that's as deep as it gets. The robot is named M.A.R.K. 13 after a Bible verse, which Moses reads out loud at one point, but it's simply used as a mirror for a man made creation. Inexplicably, Jill and the robot as both shown in Christ poses, Moses has an injury in the center of his hand before he dies, and, in the same scene, the robot takes on a God like stature complete with rays of light coming from behind it (which I'll make another point about in a moment). All these scenes are visually arresting, although it's hard to connect with them if they're in the movie simply for show.

The action is remarkably tense thanks in part of Steven Chivers's cinematography. The whole picture is shot in a dark red tone that is so bland it feels like color is a luxury the world can no longer afford. Given that most of the movie takes place in Jill's sparse apartment, it's a wise decision, more than anything because it makes it difficult to see where the robot is hiding. There are a number of standout sequences between Jill and the robot, but nothing tops the surreal sequence where Moses is dying. In addition to a series of trippy hallucinations (which could help explain why the robot looks Christ like), there's a surprisingly effective moment in which Moses comes to terms with the consequences for his decisions.

There's hardly a moment of M.A.R.K. 13 that doesn't hold some kind of appeal (it helps that almost every scene is accompanied by a terrific music score courtesy of Simon Boswell). For a movie that doesn't really unleash it's threat until an hour in, it does a credible job holding our attention. It's a unique experience to say the least, a movie that wasn't given a fair shot because of its subject matter and, I would guess, its micro budget ($1.5 million). It's no wonder given the treatment of this picture and his follow up, the also underestimated Dust Devil, that director Richard Stanley has stuck to documentary filmmaking ever since. The latter was butchered by it's American distributor, Miramax (need I say more?), and with that in mind, it's also worth throwing in that two of the producers of M.A.R.K. 13 were Bob and Harvey Weinstein! As we've seen with newcomer Greg McLean (Wolf Creek, Rogue), they are good at screwing over real talent. Even if Richard Stanley never makes another piece of fiction, at least we have this to remind us what could have been.


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Copyright, Hell and Beyond, 2008

A Splendidly Dark Summer

After a lousy winter and spring at the movies, the summer slate kicked things into high gear and provided a season at least on par with the crop from last year. I was awestruck by how many movies I was enjoying, many of which were receiving chilly reception from major critics (I still can't believe so few of them embraced Get Smart). Reading reviews this summer helped me realize just how lame film criticism is getting; instead of focusing on the smart, daring pictures, most of the praise went to easy, safe ones. Not that those aren't fun; it's just sad to see how lazy the critical taste is becoming.

The best movies of the summer for me were the ones that succeeded at being more than just an average blockbuster. They were all marketed that way, but I'll be damned if they each didn't aim to do more than simply provide the audience with visceral thrills. I have chosen five movies to single out, although I could have picked ten. When it comes to a list representing a season, the shorter list feels more appropriate. So here's to a terrific summer, one that hopefully has paved the way to an even better fall lineup.

5) Hellboy II: The Golden Army dir. Guillermo Del Toro

An experience of endless imagination, Hellboy II takes the ground laid by the first movie and shoots it to the heavens. Ron Perlman is even better than he was the last time, but the real pleasures of the picture are all the little touches. Del Toro fills the movie with jaw dropping visuals, memorable supporting characters, and at least three inspired moments of comedy. He's a classic storyteller, and Hellboy II is proof that he was the ideal choice to bring on board for The Hobbit. I'm almost disappointed he's been distracted, since Del Toro has already announced plans to do a third chapter. Patience can be a bitch.

4) Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull dir. Steven Spielberg

Critics and fans complained and complained about how it wasn't what they were hoping for after all these years, which leaves me with one question: what were they expecting? The picture has Harrison Ford, who at sixty-six can still kick ass like he's thirty-three. There's plenty of action, staged as breathlessly as anything Spielberg has done. And then there's the screenplay, which is sprinkled with a startling amount of memorable dialogue about aging and the theories behind god and higher beings. While I can agree some of the CGI stands out, I appreciate the movie's intentions enough that it barely made an impression. My second favourite entry in the series behind Raiders.

3) Hancock dir. Peter Berg

It made a shitload of money, but nobody was talking about it and I don't understand why. Hancock is a movie full of ambitious ideas, with most of them executed in a way that's not only entertaining, but also profound. Will Smith is the best he's ever been in a role that couldn't have been played by anyone else, and if some of the special effects are lacking, director Peter Berg's effortless dedication to the material makes it a worthless argument. The picture is, aside from being a sly take on the superhero genre, a bold look at romance and race in modern day America. Like Berg's other movies, it'll only be a matter of time before audiences finally realize how genius his work truly is.

2) Tropic Thunder dir. Ben Stiller

It's been many years since a movie made me laugh as loud as Tropic Thunder, Ben Stiller's merciless Hollywood satire. The casting is half the genius, from Robert Downey Jr. and Tom Cruise's brilliant disguises to Matthew McConaughey and Nick Nolte's subtle nuances. Aside from the inspired gags, there's plenty of exciting action, too. None of it holds any weight, but it's all staged with relentless gusto. No one is safe in Tropic Thunder, and yet the movie is not mean spirited. Instead, it goes to great lengths to show the ridiculous pressure actors will put themselves under in order to become a "star," a theme that's brilliantly set up by three mock trailers. Equally as great is the way the picture spits on actors attempting to develop their craft. Stiller seems to be saying it's a bunch of bologna, that trying that hard to become a character will leave you not only alone but also doubting who you really are.

1) The Dark Knight dir. Christopher Nolan

I wanted so badly to avoid jumping on the bandwagon here, but after four viewings and plenty of pondering, I cannot deny the greatness of The Dark Knight. It's problems are minor enough they are barely worth mentioning (although I still can't stand Batman's voice; and why does he talk that way around people who know his true identity?), leaving us to instead focus on the movie's many themes and characters. The familiar story arcs are given an incredible boost thanks to Nolan's knack for serious storytelling, but what really elevates the picture are its central performances: Christian Bale's tortured Bruce Wayne, Heath Ledger's unpredictably insane Joker and Aaron Eckhart's overly ambitious Harvey Dent. The picture is impossible to shake off; what first amazed me about it was how disturbed and afraid it made me. Usually those types of feelings would keep me away from revisiting a movie frequently, but not this one. It's a movie full of so many rewards that it demands to be seen more than once. If that's not the sign of an unforgettable movie experience, I don't know what is. The Dark Knight has redefined what it means to be a summer movie. The question is will the next movie, hopefully helmed by Nolan, be able to up the stakes on what he's accomplished here?


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Copyright, Hell and Beyond, 2008

Final Friday Thoughts: Was It a Great Cinematic Experience?

The ultimate goal I had, aside from whether or not I could sit through them all, was to see if I agreed with film critic Alex Jackson's statement that the Friday the 13th series is one of the great cinematic experiences. First off, I should probably say I was surprised how much I got into it as a whole. Every time I'd start a chapter and the Paramount logo would appear, I'd feel a tinge of excitement. I never, ever expected to have a reaction like that when preparing to watch a Friday the 13th picture, but to my amazement, the series did turn out to be a building process (at least for the first four). I loved getting to pick out the similarities from one to the next, finding where the inconsistencies were, and most of all following Jason as he developed as a character. Like many others, I wouldn't have thought there was anything to Jason, but it turned out I was wrong. Just read the reviews and you'll see my point.

While it may be true that the movies themselves were, for the most part, hit and miss affairs, when you take it as a collective whole, it is quite unique and undeniably fascinating. So much so, that I would gladly sit through all of them again (I might leave out Part 8) just to see what I might have missed while my pen was furiously scribbling on the notepad. Who knew that a series of movies made with such simplicity could turn out to have so much appeal? This is certainly not to say every person will get the same thing out of a Friday the 13th picture. In fact, many will probably watch one and feel that it is an empty and monotonous experience. But for those willing to totally give themselves to the series, as a true fan of cinema should do, the reward could be greater than you think.

So, do I agree that the series is a "great" cinematic experience? Not quite. I would almost say that Parts 6 and 8 hold it back, the former because of how it destroys the rich and interesting Tommy Jarvis character and turns Jason into an infantile joke, and the latter because of how it abandons the expected pleasures of a Friday the 13th movie. In the end, call it a very admirable cinematic experience, one that I will gladly revisit if the opportunity arises again. Now that I've completed the Paramount years, I must say that I'm gonna miss hanging out with Jason. Who knew?

Note: Even though the image above was from a chapter I did not like, it's the most entertaining one I could find. If only it had been in Part 7...

*You can read Alex Jackson's reviews of the series by clicking on the link labeled "I Viddied it on the Screen" under my "Reading Material" header.


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Copyright, Hell and Beyond, 2008

Going Out With a Whimper: Rob Hedden's Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan

Heroine: "There's a maniac trying to kill us!"

Unsurprised Patron: "Welcome to New York."

That line is a good indicator that Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan is trying to say there are worse things out there than Jason Voorhees, and the big city is certainly one of them. Not a bad idea for a 1989 production, I guess; at least, it would have been had writer/director Rob Hedden had the funds to really explore it. Instead, Paramount's last chapter in the Friday the 13th series is a strange and unappealing concoction that spends half its run time on a cruise ship and half in the alleys and sewers of New York (actually Vancouver). I don't blame Hedden completely; his original script had a lot more action in New York, but it turned out to be money the studio didn't want to spend. That being the case, the first thing they should have done was change the title (or come up with a different premise).

The opening credit sequence sadly lets us know that the days of Crystal Lake are gone forever. The classic black background, stock white font, and signature music have been replaced by shots of the New York slums, complete with a cheesy pop song, fancy looking credits, and a voice over about the city that sounds like something you might hear on a third rate tour bus. Not a moment of it portrays New York in a positive light; in fact, the image that's shown the longest is of a rat peeking out of a vat filled with toxic looking liquid. In other words, this place is a cesspool and Jason should have no problem fitting in (when he gets there, no one gives him a puzzling glance).

The set up involves a group of high school seniors taking a cruise to New York before graduation. Like Part 7, the heroine this time is a troubled girl with some daddy issues. No thanks to him, she's afraid of the water and doesn't know how to swim (as a child he pushed her into the lake and told her if she didn't swim, Jason would get her!). This fear combined with childhood trauma provides her with a strong connection to Jason; throughout the picture, she has visions of him as a drowning child. I must say I wasn't prepared for another character to develop a bond with Jason. First off, it's a bit late in the series to being doing that and second, after the failure of Tommy Jarvis it feels like too much of an afterthought. I've been burned once and am not ready to risk it happening again.

After being resurrected by electricity for the second time (after Part 6), Jason kills a couple of teenagers and hitches a ride on the cruise ship, boasting the necessary question of why he would get on the boat in the first place. Sure, there are potential victims there, but doesn't that take him out of his element? Crystal Lake is Jason's comfort zone, meaning he's always in complete control there. It just doesn't look right seeing him wandering around the cramped corridors of a sea vessel. Naturally, he's got plenty of people on board just waiting to be dispatched, and they each fit their stereotypical mold. My personal favourite has to be the female glam rocker, who sports a flying V guitar and a Joan Jett haircut.

Hormones fly high in Part 8, although nothing noteworthy is ever done with it. There's a queen bitch who's reminiscent of the one from Part 7, and once again she's the object of desire for an ultra nerd. Even though he's never humiliated by her, he still says that he wouldn't care if she used him because she's "sexy." This kind of pathetic behavior is as unforgivable as being a spoiled snob, and will no doubt lead to an early grave. There is a little nudity in the picture, but it's handled in a completely different manner than we've seen before in the series. Previously, it's all been a tease or shown from a distance while here, it's very exploitative. Hedden has the camera thoroughly examine the female bodies, generally doing so shortly before their deaths.

If the nudity feels more exploitative, so does the violence. Jason's pattern of quick kills has been replaced by an inexplicable need to take his time killing and actually watch the victim die. This is the first chapter where we get a sense he may really be enjoying what's he doing. Look at the movie's second kill, which has Jason stabbing a girl with a spear. He lowers the weapon very slowly, as if he's making her anticipate what is about to happen, and then after she's dead, he stands and simply looks at her for a moment. The brutality gets even worse from there. One guy gets a hot sauna rock to the stomach, another gets electrocuted, and one poor girl gets choked and then thrown on the floor. In each instance, particularly the middle one, Jason soaks in his destruction completely. If I recall, there's only one true "rape" style murder, and it involves the ship captain's assistant being stabbed repeatedly from behind.

I'm not sure why Jason would be so interested in the deaths all of the sudden. Maybe he's developed a sense of patience, which might make sense because he is no longer able to run. My real guess is that it's a totally random decision made by the director, who also thought it would be good to have Jason target certain people! If you are confused than trust me, so was I. Once in New York, instead of taking out every person in sight, Jason makes it a point to only pursue the survivors of the cruise ship! His new found discrimination makes the last half completely asinine, especially when Jason follows the heroine and her boyfriend onto the subway. There are tons of people he could take out but instead, he pushes them aside to pursue the two familiar faces. Was this meant to be funny? If so, then I'm afraid Rob Hedden is the only one who was laughing.

If you think Jason's behavior is off, wait until you see his absurd ability to teleport. By taking him out of the woods, the studio must have been desperate to come up with some kind of gimmick to justify the fact he won't be able to sneak up on people as well as he used to. As a result, Jason is suddenly able to appear wherever he wants, which takes this idea of him being a boogeyman just a tad too far. Worse, it cripples any chance of suspense from the chase scenes. What good will it do to run away from Jason if he's going to be able to magically pop up in front of you? Once in New York, Jason also gets his sense of humor back. While I must admit I found a billboard joke pretty funny, there are a few other jokes, most notably one where Jason raises his mask to scare some thugs, that felt like they belonged in Part 6.

The latter chapters have shown a weakness in the ending department, so it's appropriate that Part 8 follows suit. It takes place in a sewer where the heroine learns that every night at midnight, toxic waste floods the tunnels. This makes for a convenient way to get rid of Jason, since he will not only drown, but also remember what happened to him as a child. The idea hardly is relevant when you consider that Jason is no longer human and therefore would doubtfully be able to recall anything that happened that many years ago. Interesting though, that Jason goes back to being a defenseless child again; if anything, it revives the theme from the first movie that Jason is labeled as a monster before he even gives anyone a reason to see him that way.

Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan represents the lowest point of the Paramount years. In addition to its rocky subtext, the picture is not very well made, the sound design is annoying, and the makeup effects are really crappy. For being the biggest budgeted entry in the series, it's rather difficult to figure out where the money went (my guess is the MPAA made sure it was kept off screen). More than anything, the movie makes one wish the studio had ended things after Part 7. Yeah, it was a thankless demise for Jason, but at least the movie was respectful to the roots. The realization that we'll always have to remember Jason Takes Manhattan are the finale is kind of insulting and, for someone who has become a true fan, more than a bit sad.


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Getting Back on Track: John Carl Buechler's Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood

Friday the 13th Part VII is the first entry in the series I remember seeing. It was the night it premiered on HBO and at that point in my life (I was probably 12 or 13), I had seen only a handful of horror movies. No surprise the nudity was the key element that stood out to me at the time. I re-visited it about seven years ago and thought it was terrible; of course at that time, I did not realize that the Friday the 13th movies are best appreciated as a collective experience. In a way, they all kind of build off each other. After seeing Part 6, my hopes for Part 7 were pretty low, as I feel that Part 6 threw out everything that made the series unique in the first place. It basically turned Jason into a parody of himself.

My sour feelings grew a little more positive as the picture opened. The music, which was much too playful in Part 6 was now back to its appropriately sinister sound. And the director, John Carl Buechler, made sure to let us know that this was his film before the pre-credit sequence began (a nice nod to Steve Miner and Part 2). The opening for Part 7 is a hoot. The classic series montage is back, but this time it includes a voice over by a guy who sounds like Danny Trejo and uses lines you'd expect to hear in a trailer! Example: "Some have tried to stop him...no one can!" It's pretty silly stuff, and yet it works because Buechler is paying tribute to the series and having a blast in the process.

Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood is a very strange movie, meaning it fits right in with the best of the series. If it ultimately has a plot that is needless and kind of gets in the way, it also has enough worthy stuff to make that a minor complaint. The key character is Tina (Lar Park Lincoln), a teenage girl who fits the mold of the heroines in the series, but is given a twist: she has telekinetic and psychic powers. She stumbles upon her gift (or curse) as a child when her anger towards an abuse father leads to his death in Crystal Lake. Years later, Tina is taken back in hopes that her doctor, named Crews (Terry Kiser from Weekend at Bernie's!), can get to the root of her psychological issues. Just in that little description you can see that this is too much story for a Friday the 13th movie. It is needless, but the movie does a few fascinating things with it.

The scenes with Dr. Crews are the worst. He's that classic asshole who constantly accuses Tina of being out of control, more or less says she's crazy, and says she's delusional. There's no question we want to see him die from the first moment he's on screen. However, since this is a Friday the 13th movie, there are many others that will have to go first. Jason is of course still at the bottom of lake where Tommy Jarvis left him at the end of Part 6. In an attempt to resurrect her father, Tina brings Jason back instead, and he's still all zombie and no patience. Thankfully, his reasoning skills have been thrown away and been replaced with an unstoppable and unrelenting desire to destroy. Jason comes out of the water with the attitude of someone who did not want to be awakened. He's tired of killing, dammit, but these foolish people just will not leave him alone. It's no surprise that Buechler comes from a make-up effects background, since the Jason in this entry is the most menacing looking one yet.

The kills are up to the caliber of the earlier chapters in the series. Like in The Final Chapter, Jason is so pissed to have been awakened he's going to do his duty to the absolute extreme. What's different this time is that his purpose for living has turned into a monotonous routine. The movie has a lot of fun playing with that idea from the first kill, especially when we notice that Jason can no longer run. Realizing that himself, he tends to sneak up behind people so they won't run away and if they do, he throws a weapon to stop them or, in one priceless moment, knocks a victim down just so he can kill them with his weapon. The idea seems to be if you have the weapon, you darn well better use it. There are a wide variety of weapons in the movie, most of them of the piercing nature. Buechler takes the idea that the machete is Jason's tool of sexual aggression and pushes it through the wall. At one point, he shows up with a long rod with a curved blade on the end and later, he somehow finds a weed whacker with a spinning blade! He uses the latter to kill Dr. Crews, and even though we don't see where he sticks it, it is apparent that it's below the chest, resulting in one of the most literal rapes Jason has committed thus far. I say rape not just because of the weapon used, but also because Jason makes sure Dr. Crews knows what's happening to him.

Sex is crucial in Part 7, as is masculinity and penis size. The first sign of sexual anxiety is brought up in an early scene with Tina and Dr. Crews. The doctor puts a book of matches on the table and asks Tina to move it with her mind. It's not working so he gets aggressive with her, so much so that it not only moves but also ignites. The interesting thing about the way it's shot is that the flame appears almost directly in front of Tina's crotch, and the scene immediately cuts to two other teenagers having sex. This puts Tina's sexual suppression front and center, mainly focusing on the fact that her telekinesis has prevented her from finding someone interested in being intimate with her. I like the way Buechler further capitalizes on Jason being drawn to people having sex. We see a couple getting it on, with the next shot containing Jason walking up to the house they're in. There's a scene like the one in Part 4 where a girl dies while skinny dipping. In that movie, Jason stabs her from underneath a raft while this time, he pulls her under water. The context here seems to be that he is taking away her sexuality. In other words, he putting her "fire" out.

The running theme involving the penis is that it's all about who has the biggest one. Early in the movie, a character goes to chop wood with a machete. It may not be as effective as say, an axe, but it has a longer blade. Later, when the power goes out, a guy grabs two flashlights and gives the girl the weaker of the two (she even looks at it with a sense of doubt). Another guy is looking at his friend's birthday presents and sees that he has received a personal penis enlarger. What's makes this more than a throwaway gag is that we don't know who gave it to him and we don't know whether or not it was meant as a joke. All of it plays like an attempt to show how lame it is when men try to prove or confirm their manhood. Look no further than a moment where a guy tells his sex partner that he is going to get them some food because he is the "hunter/gatherer."

The teenagers in Part 7 are probably the dorkiest bunch yet. They've got ultra cheesy '80s haircuts, dress in ugly clothes, and act like rejects from a John Hughes movie. They are also the most disrespectful kids the series has seen. Even though they are borrowing the house of one of the kid's uncle's, they have no problem eating his food, smoking pot, and making an ungodly mess. If the boys are concerned with penis size, the girls are competitive. Tina and a spoiled rich girl both like the kind hearted stud, while two nerds, one of them lacking in confidence, both like the pothead. Of course, the nice guy leans more towards Tina while the pathetic girl, complete with big glasses, loses out because she doesn't want to get high. In hopes she can drive his affection away from her friend, the girl ditches her extra set of eyes and dolls herself up with a new hairdo, a dress, and lots of makeup. This acts as an automatic red flag that she will be killed. Jason is punishing her for pretending to be something she's not (the guy never even gets to see her all dressed up). The scene where she is pursued by Jason is really well staged, and probably has the most tension filled moments in the picture.

The performances in the movie are, for the most part, atrocious. Like I've said before, good acting is not a necessity in the Friday the 13th movies, but these people have no idea what they're doing. Lar Park Lincoln, who supposedly auditioned four times(!) before she got the part, is over dramatic to an almost irritating degree and Susan Blu, who plays her mother, is even worse. The fact the latter has spent most of her career doing voice work for animated shows is not surprising. If anyone is worth mentioning, it's Kane Hodder, who plays Jason. He is apparently the fan favourite and it's easy to see why. Even though his face is kept hidden and he never speaks, Hodder is able to convey just how boring Jason's purpose is. Look at the way he plays the famous scene where he kills the girl in the sleeping bag. Not wanting to do the same old thing, he drags her out of a tent as she thrashes in the bag and swings her against a tree. It comes across as if he hates the fact she's there and he has to kill her.

As in Part 6, there are a handful of scenes featuring Jason simply wandering around. In the last movie, it felt like an attempt to show him reclaiming the forest as his home. Here, it feels like an act of boredom. Being alive is a burden, so when there are no people to kill, walking around is the best activity life has to offer. I've noticed in two or three of the movies (this one included) that Jason likes to cut the power in his victims' house, and I always wondered how he would have any concept of what he was doing. But upon deeper examination, it makes perfect sense. By "killing" the power, he's giving the victims a bit of foreshadowing as to what is about to happen to them. It's a way of letting them know there is no escape.

Friday the 13th Part VII is probably the best technically made entry in the series. The slick production bothered me with Part 6, but this time it isn't as flashy. Buechler has enough understanding of what components belong in a Friday the 13th movie, and with that being the case, the fact it's well made comes as an afterthought. He does a nice job paying homage to the earlier chapters. I already mentioned displaying his name before the credits and the girl skinny dipping; in addition, he duplicates the cat false alarm scare from Part 2 and the girl being thrown out the window from Part 4 (which actually plays a little better here). Also, his use of humor fits in as it should. There are some big laughs in the movie, many of them involving Jason's confusion as to what is happening around him. Being that he is a zombie, nothing should make any sense to him anymore. There's a beautifully timed moment during the climactic showdown between Tina and Jason where she uses her telekinesis to throw a potted plant at Jason that has a severed head propped in it. What makes it is so funny is not only Hodder's body language when it hits him, but also the sight of the head tumbling out.

The showdown makes very little sense. Tina has obviously figured out Jason cannot be killed (she tries to electrocute him, which of course doesn't work since that's how he was resurrected in Part 6), but nevertheless, she continues to throw simple objects at him. I mean really, what good is it going to do to throw a fucking sofa at Jason Voorhees? Anyways, as silly as the climax is, it can easily be forgiven when compared to the ending. The movie has two credited writers, and what they've come up with is the stuff of bad fiction. And I must say I was bit disappointed there are no shots of Jason after he meets his (supposed) demise. Even though it doesn't seem like anyone knew how to wrap the movie up, Friday the 13th Part VII is one of the most entertaining chapters in the series. More than anything, it took me back to the rush I got watching two through five and easily makes up for Part 6. Now let's hold our breath to see if we can stay sane through Jason Takes Manhattan.


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Copyright, Hell and Beyond, 2008

Slashing to the Bottom: George Mihalka's My Bloody Valentine

After the overwhelming success of John Carpenter's Halloween, movie studios went into a slashing frenzy, most notably three years later with the release of Friday the 13th. Proving to be very profitable as well, Paramount Pictures took part in another movie that pulled elements from Carpenter's classic and their own recent hit, the result being My Bloody Valentine. Shot in Canada on about a $2 million budget, the picture, while visually interesting, lacks the subtext of the movies it borrows from. I could try to get past that if there was anything else to hold onto, but after the MPAA got their claws on the movie and chopped nine minutes worth of footage, all that's left are a bunch of stale characters, a corny story, and not a single gory moment (maybe they should have found a new title). The most baffling piece of the puzzle is that Paramount apparently still has the cut footage; they just have yet to release it to the fans.

The picture takes place in the small town of Valentine Bluffs, which, given its name, celebrates every Valentine's Day with a dance. A back story teaches that a bunch of murders occurred years ago during the festivities, with the threat being to never have the dance again or more people would die. Twenty years later, the mayor decides enough time has passed and a reunion is planned. However, the original killer, who was thought to be in a mental institution, has come back to protest. This is all well and good, I guess, but my first problem was when the movie announced that the date is "Thursday, February 12th," meaning of course that Valentine's Day will fall on Saturday the 14th. This is about as clever as the movie gets.

The young people in town might as well be the same ones who populate Crystal Lake every summer, although the movie makes the mistake of trying to give them actual hopes and fears (at least Friday the 13th only went so far as to label its sole survivor by giving her a simple talent). The biggest snoozer is a love triangle that develops between a girl and two men, one of whom left town, only to resurface years later. As expected, she's seeing someone else now and he wants her back. The feuding begins, but it's soap opera stuff, complete with some laughable music as the girl reminisces with her long lost lover by the sea. Almost every scene involving any of these three has to be about the sexual tension between them, and sadly, they're the characters with the most screentime!

The killings are ripped right out of Halloween and Friday the 13th. The killer wears a mask, has a signature weapon, and likes to sneak up on his victims. Despite the last part, there's nothing scary about what he's doing. Don't get me wrong, the Friday the 13th pictures aren't scary either, but at least you can find a method to the killer's pattern. If anything, the killer here is like Mrs. Voorhees from Part 1; he just wants the victim to die as quickly as possible(the fact he's punishing them for having a party feels like it belongs in today's current PG-13 horror offerings). Even though most everything is kept off screen, the movie does manage one memorable death scene. A girl tries to get away as mining uniforms hung from the ceiling drop onto her head. Even better though is the glimpse we get when her boyfriend comes back. Her head has been pushed through a shower nozzle, so all we see is her mouth and a stream of water at the side of the frame. The fact we get just enough to know what happened makes it all the creepier. Too bad the movie doesn't take better advantage of the other edited murder scenes in the same way.

The idea of a killer dressed in a miner outfit and a gas mask is pretty cool, and the opening scene promises something much better than it delivers. A woman and the masked man are in the mine, making out while she strokes the tube on the mask. I liked the implications about what the movie might explore, but soon learned it was all a facade to get the audience to stay past the opening credits. The most bearable portion of the movie is the last third, which takes place completely in the mine shaft. It's an ideal horror movie location with a lot of great possibilities, although director George Mihalka doesn't seem to have the slightest idea how to set up a good scare or even give a scene thematic weight. Sure, you could attempt to create some metaphors for the mine, but it'd be a waste of time in a movie that clearly is aiming for nothing more than cheap thrills.

Unlike the original Friday the 13th, My Bloody Valentine makes it fairly clear early in the movie who the killer is. There are plenty of supposed red herrings, but anyone who has seen a horror movie before will not likely be fooled. This wouldn't necessarily hurt the movie if the explanation for the killings were subtle and disturbing. However, the reasons we get are so routine and the killer's behavior is so stupid it seems unfair for the movie to let him live. My guess is the studio was hoping to develop a franchise out of the movie because like Friday the 13th, it's all set up with no real payoff. The payoff ultimately is that you get to turn the movie off when (or before) it's over.

I know My Bloody Valentine has a great deal of admirers, one of which is Quentin Tarantino (he chose it as his favourite slasher movie!). Aside from the originality of the setting, I can't really see what would draw someone to revisit this movie more than once. It's bad enough the central romance is stale but even worse, there's very little of the subtle humor found throughout the Friday the 13th pictures (I will confess there was one moment that made me laugh involving a pot of boiling hot dogs). And worse than that, the killer's way of communicating with the police is by writing morbid Valentine's Day poems and literally sending them a human heart. It's clear given how hard this movie tries to please the audience that a heart, for that matter any sign of life, would have made a difference. Do yourself a favor and watch Friday the 13th instead. It may be empty, but at least it's not dumb.


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Copyright, Hell and Beyond, 2008

The Name's Voorhees...Jason Voorhees: Tom McLoughlin's Jason Lives: Friday the 13th Part VI

Film critic Alex Jackson suggests that humor in the Friday the 13th series should not be overt, but that the audience should have to search for it. I couldn't agree with him more. In the earlier installments, there are very funny moments and the great thing about them is you don't quite realize they've occurred until a few minutes later. It's these little throwaway laughs that help make the series so special as a whole and give each chapter, even if they may be lacking in other elements, enough reason to make them worth the experience. I never would have suspected the Friday the 13th movies of having such a strange sense of humor; in a way, it almost makes them science fiction. Most of the humor comes not from the bizarre supporting characters, but from the principal players or Jason himself. I still get a kick out of how awkwardly he moves around in Part 2.

It is with this in mind that I approach Jason Lives: Friday the 13th Part VI. The movie has a tough challenge on one hand, since it has to actually find a way to resurrect an unquestionably deceased Jason. Even more so, the picture has to establish what he is going to be like now that he's truly been dead. Writer/director Tom McLoughlin, who is the first to take the sole writing and directing credit, develops an interesting idea for how to handle this new Jason. The problem is what he's done with the humor. Instead of respecting a franchise that has played by a certain set of rules, he throws caution to the wind and has created a movie that thrives on pushing every detail into our faces and ruining the only human character in the series with any real potential to grow. But I'll get to Tommy later.

The opening sequence sets the mood for things to come. The shots of the lake and the forest are familiar; it's ultimately the music that threw me off and let me know I was in for something considerably different. Instead of hearing a hint of impending danger, the score this time is much more playful, preparing the audience for a much lighter tone. And the absurdity doesn't stop there. Tommy Jarvis (Thom Mathews) convinces a friend to go with him to dig up Jason's grave so he can be sure the root of his psychological problems is "really dead." After opening the coffin to reveal the half rotted corpse, Tommy stabs Jason's body with an iron rod, which gets struck by lightening and supplies a monster movie style rebirth. I understand Tommy wanted to see Jason's body. It is in a way impossible for him to live without Jason anymore. It's when you get to the whole re-establishment that he's gone and not coming back that I have issues.

What fascinates about the resurrection is that Jason seemed happy to finally be put out of the misery of having to kill people. Now he's been awakened and is no longer human, so his actions should be a bit more robotic. Sure enough, once out of the grave, he punches Tommy's friend and his fist goes straight through the body. Jason is basically just a simple being with super strength and the same purpose as before: kill. If he did function like a zombie, I could have bought into this new Jason. However, he somehow has adopted a style of rational thinking that would have been fitting when he was still human, but now comes off as a stretch and a poor attempt to build suspense and earn laughs. For instance, he makes it a habit a couple of times of jumping in to startle people before he kills them. He messes with a couple in a car by knocking out the headlights and flattening a tire. How would he have any concept of that? The fact that he toys with his victims, almost as if it's a game, shows just how shallow the movie is (don't get me started on the utility belt he finds to hold all his weapons). I defended Jason's almost playful tendencies in the earlier movies because there, it made sense; he was communicating in the only way he knew how.

If there is something about Jason that stands out, even if it's inconsistent with his new behavior, it's the way he reacts to people as if he's never encountered them before. There are a handful of moments where people say or do things and his head tilts as if he's confused. It's a nice touch, but one that feels wrong when placed with his new found smarts. If McLoughlin does have one appealing idea, it's the way he shows numerous shots of Jason wandering through the forest. I don't recall that happening in the previous chapters, and I must say there's something about it that feels right. It's as if Jason has some memory of this place being his home and he wants everybody else to get out. I wish this had been pushed to its full potential, but once anything in this movie gets close to finding a rhythm, the cheap jokes come back into effect.

Ah, the jokes. Jason Lives makes it a point to be as self referential as possible, so much so that one can almost hear McLoughlin begging you to slap your knee with delight. An opening riff featuring Jason walking across the screen like James Bond and throwing his machete at the camera is supposed to suggest he's become an icon, although it left me with more of a Naked Gun type vibe than a Friday the 13th one. The movie's biggest mistake, though, is the fact that all the characters are in on it, too. If you recall, I've talked a good deal about why the people in this series have to be empty vessels. By making them aware of what's happening, it totally undermines why they exist in the first place and makes it almost insulting that they'd be stupid enough to let Jason kill them. The lamest gag in the movie involves a group of businesspeople playing paintball. Once they've been shot, they are required to wear a bandanna that labels them as "DEAD." Seeing this onscreen was the equivalent to someone tapping you on the shoulder over and over while saying, "Do you get it? Do you get it? Do you get it?"

Jason Lives is crucial to the series only because it's where he finally picked up his trademark machete. Considering most of his murders are "rape by steel" (as named by Alex Jackson), it's appropriate Jason finally decides to make it his signature weapon. The movie blatantly tries to make the connection between Jason and his machete in a POV shot of someone holding the bloody machete as they walk towards a sleeping girl (it turns out to be a little girl! Why she would have picked it up is baffling). Jason's pattern this time out is similar to the ones in the early pictures, meaning that the kills are quick and the target area is the head or neck. This is crucial since Jason is starting over and will have to re-discover his craft (although if he is a zombie, technically there may be no craft).

It's bad enough the movie works overtime to be hip and funny; what's worse is how the movie destroys the buildup of the Tommy Jarvis character. In The Final Chapter, he was a mirror image of Jason and in A New Beginning, he was still traumatized after killing Jason and at the end, it looked as though he was going to become him. What should have happened this time then, was Tommy should have taken over for the deceased Jason or they should have each held half of the same mind. What I'm trying to say is, what one does the other repeats at precisely the same moment. McLoughlin is obviously not that clever, for instead of doing something ambitious with the character, he turns Tommy into a standard movie scapegoat. Once he brings Jason back, the local police blame all the murders on him. Tommy insists that it's Jason, but naturally they think he's crazy and lock him up. It's the reliable old innocent-man-wrongly-accused scenario. The real nail in the coffin is the incorporation of a female love interest/sidekick, who, as Alex Jackson pointed out, undermines Tommy because it makes him identifiable with the other human characters, therefore defeating the purpose of why he was in the series in the first place.

It's unforgivable, really. Even if Jason Lives does provide some simple pleasures, the way it mocks the movies before it is hard look past. I can give the movie a few points for finally bringing back the counselors and for showing campers for the first time, although it seems rather pointless. Not only does it look like a poorly run camp (no one seems to know what they're doing), but, save for one little girl, none of the campers seem to worry that their lives are in danger. In fact, one of the boys even jokes about it ("What did you want to be when you grow up?")! The counselors don't really get the kind of screentime they did in the earlier chapters. There's only one sex scene in the movie, with both parties mostly clothed and the act itself is so over the top you can tell it's meant as another "wink wink" moment.

McLoughlin has sucked all the life out of a Friday the 13th movie. Part of me has to wonder if he even watched any of them before he starting writing this one. If he had, he would have noticed that the others were shot in a very plain style that lends to the simplistic nature of the series. Working with a budget of only about $3 million, McLoughlin has made a very crisp looking movie, complete with some fancy dolly shots and a great deal more camera movement (outside of POVs) than the series is used to. I'm not suggesting I'm opposed to camera movement; I just think that style is not something that belongs in this series. It takes the gritty appeal away.

I know many will disagree with me, as this is a fan favorite. Like Jackson, I am confused by this, for you would think that someone who has followed this series closely would not want to see Jason (and Tommy for that matter) turned into corny gags and self satisfying in jokes. If I had seen Jason Lives and was not familiar with the rest of the movies, I probably would have adored it. As it stands, I find it to be biggest disappointment so far, an entry I would only revisit if I decided to watch the whole series again. All I can hope for is that, even though he did survive, Tommy Jarvis is not brought back again. This movie has made him dead to me.


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Copyright, Hell and Beyond, 2008

You Can't Keep a Good Psycho Killer Down: Danny Steinmann's Friday the 13th: A New Beginning

Jason took a machete through the head at the end of The Final Chapter, an indicator the series should indeed be coming to a close. On the flip side, the introduction of Tommy Jarvis offered the opportunity to develop a whole new character, not to mention one who's childhood traits mirrored Jason's. The opening of Friday the 13th: A New Beginning is the first since the original not to be comprised completely of flashbacks. It's the studio's way of letting the audience know they are trying to make a fresh start, and what better way to do that than with a dream sequence? The pre-teen Tommy watches a couple of idiots dig up Jason's grave, which in turn brings the finally put down monster back to life and after Tommy. Of course, he wakes in a cold sweat, only for us to discover that quite a few years have passed.

This is the first jump in time the series has taken so far and by the looks of it, the years have not been good to Tommy (John Shepherd). After killing Jason, he got shipped to a mental institution but apparently made enough progress that now he's eligible to go to a "youth development center." The bulk of the picture takes place there, with Tommy being surrounded by an assortment of nutty residents. A New Beginning somehow manages to have sillier characters than Part 3 and believe it or not, they're not limited to Tommy's house mates. The gold medal goes to a backwoods bumpkin and her grown son, who still acts like he's eight. Like the bikers in Part 3, they exist to provide some easy laughs.

The changes in Tommy are brought front and center early on. The nightmares lead us to wonder if his violent tendencies are still intact (a dream he has late in the movie more or less says yes). Once he moves into the house, we see that, even after all those years, he's held onto all his homemade masks, a sign that he's still keeping his true self hidden. Most surprising are Tommy's fighting skills. There's an early scene where one of the house mates messes with him and Tommy proceeds to beat the tar out of him. It's an interesting character trait because it makes us wonder if he learned self defense in case Jason ever did come back to find him.

Aside from the youth center owners, no one else there is likable or sympathetic at all. Most of them act as if they have mental defects, so their behavior is annoying and often cruel. The movie's first kill isn't even committed by Jason. An overweight slob named Joey (Dominick Brascia), who apparently just wants to help around the house but makes a mess, pisses off one of his house mates and gets chopped up. At first, the scene doesn't make much sense. Once the big twist is revealed (I'll get to that shortly) and you think back over the events of the movie, it fits it in as it should. True, it's a gimmick, albeit a worthy one of this series.

Jason's first victims are a couple of greasers whose car won't start. They're the atypical Friday the 13th characters in that they talk horribly about women and the size of their dick is measured by how loud their engine revs. Appropriate then that victim number three also has a sports car and only cares about getting laid. In his case, we meet the girl he's hoping to get it on with, and even watch her get ready, a strange ritual that includes flashing her boobs. If this feels unnecessary, it's not; the needless exposure of flesh is an invitation for the flesh to later be penetrated (it's brought up again later at the youth center when a girl inexplicably goes to bed topless, only to be stabbed a moment later from under her bed).

Jason penetrates quite a bit of flesh in the movie, bringing back in Alex Jackson's idea of "rape by steel." There are quite a few in the movie, the most severe ones happening to female characters. Despite the familiarity of these murders, there's plenty of evidence to prove the real Jason is not at work here. First off, we never actually see him resurrected. Secondly, the style of the killings does not fit the pattern shown in The Final Chapter. Yes, some of them are quite brutal (a road flare to the mouth takes the cake), but others feel more in tune with the earlier entries in that the killer wants the victims to die quickly. Strangely, this Jason has a brief obsession with eyes and mainly reserves it for the two characters in the movie who have sex. The girl loses her sight to hedge trimmers while the guy is strapped to a tree with his eyes covered. Punishment for sex is not uncommon, especially after the last movie, but for the first time, the killer is showing his disapproval of the couple's visual lust for one another.

Most of the graphic violence happens off screen. We see the weapon rise into the air and often see the aftermath, but there are only several instances where we see contact made. I would think this was a decision made by the MPAA, who was notorious for picking on all the movies in the series. And yet, the lack of actual onscreen carnage doesn't hurt the picture in the long run. It almost feels more appropriate since we're not really witnessing Jason doing his worst; you could say the movie is mocking the fact that someone dared to act as a copycat. One tidbit I noticed is that this is the first entry in the series where Jason does not run. I'm not sure if that was the filmmaker's way of letting the audience know this is not the real Jason, but I'd buy that theory.

As noted, there are elements worth mentioning here, but in all honesty, the picture's most appealing aspect is brought in at the very end when Jason is killed and the mask comes off. When you scroll back through what's happened, the signs of who the knock off was were right in front of you the whole time. One of the paramedics who came to take Joey's body away was his father, and I guess the sight of seeing him in pieces drove the guy nuts. It may not sound like much of a concept, but when you compare Joey's father to Mrs. Voorhees, it takes on a whole new level of discussion. Unfortunately, we don't get the psychoanalysis that we did for Jason's mother; in this movie, it functions as more of a plot twist.

Danny Steinmann took the director's chair for A New Beginning, but sometimes it's hard to tell if he's making a horror movie or a comedy. There's a lot of violence all right, although it looks like there are twice as many attempts to earn a cheap laugh. I mentioned the bumpkins earlier, but in addition to them there is a machete/chainsaw duel, a goofy dance routine (it doesn't even come close to reaching the heights of Crispin Glover's from the last entry), a rabbit used as a false sense of security (echoes of Part 3), and a pre-teen character, this one named Reggie (Shavar Ross). The difference between he and Tommy is that Reggie is black and does not seem intimidated when Jason is in action. It's a thankless and stereotypical role, and frankly I'm not surprised Shavar Ross declined the chance to reprise it.

So, even though Friday the 13th: A New Beginning looks and feels like it belongs in the series, it doesn't contribute much without Jason. My opinion would differ if the picture had made real progress with Tommy's growing madness, which is there, but is kept off screen until the last five minutes. The decision to do so announces the fifth chapter as a companion piece with the first one, since it is basically all set up with no real payoff. Knowing already that Tommy is in Part 6 has me holding my breath in hopes that his character will not be left in vain. His introduction in the last movie was too crucial for it to be left in the dust.


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Copyright, Hell and Beyond, 2008

All Grown Up and Incredibly Pissed Off: Joseph Zito's Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter

"God, I'm horny."

That line is the key to Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter, since this is the first entry in the series where it looks like the characters are getting killed because of their obsession with sex. In Part 3, all the guys were randy, but by adding the girls to the mix, it makes for a lethal combination. It doesn't help that Jason is severely pissed off. The picture opens with the campfire scene from Part 2, in which a character tells the supposed legend of Jason Voorhees. The whole sequence is inner cut with the murders from the first three pictures, basically as a way of saying if this happens to be your starting point, now you'll be caught up. If you're watching the Friday the 13th movies strictly for the violence, you should be pleased. But if it's subtext you're seeking, then I doubt it will do much for you.

After the obligatory recap, the action moves to the farmhouse where Jason took an axe to the head. An ambulance ships him off to the morgue, and the scene ends with a lingering shot of the the setting, an ominous sign that Jason's life is far from over. It is in the morgue that the picture's key theme about the danger of sex is introduced. A doctor shamelessly pushes himself onto a nurse, all the while watching a cheesy women's workout program to help set the mood. As soon as they begin getting into it, Jason's hand twitches. It's as if their promiscuity brings him back so he can punish them for it, and punish them he does!

I talked in the last essay about why Jason kills. Is it fun for him, or is it a chore? It's hard to tell in The Final Chapter, because when Jason comes back, he's obviously not happy that a potential victim was able to get the upper hand. Convinced this will not happen again, he ups the stakes by killing in the most horrifying ways possible. While the first three pictures were all about quick kills, this time he makes them last so he can witness the victim's agony. The nature of what he's doing is so extreme if it ever was fun, it's probably past that point. At the same time, it feels like he doesn't want his role to be without enjoyment; all the kills in the picture are sneak attacks, except instead of saying "boo," the surprise is a sharp object. If you do happen to see him coming, you're not going to get far. Jason is finally on the fringe of becoming a completely unstoppable force (wait until you see him smash straight through a wooden door).

It's clear to me that the adolescent phase is over for Jason. The clumsiness and lack of confidence he showed in the earlier movies has been replaced by sheer determination. He knows what he's alive to do and failure is not an option. What's interesting, though, is how his kills become a reflection of the sexual behavior of the people he's killing. Critic Alex Jackson describes it as "rape by steel," since the flesh is being pierced. There are number of scenes in The Final Chapter that display this idea to the fullest extent. The most sexually active character in the movie is shot in the crotch with a spear gun, an image that illustrates the parallel, but takes full context once Jason pulls the trigger. Equally as apparent is a murder where Jason stabs the victim over and over in heavy thrusting motions.

The girls are just as itchy in the pants as the boys this time out. Even so, the boys are still the ones that approach women as if they are nothing more than strange beings that exist just to fill sexual desires (notice how one male character equates treating a girl right to sexual satisfaction). Two of the guys have girlfriends already, but the other two are single and desperate. There's Ted (Lawrence Monoson), who thinks he's a smooth operator because he talks a lot of game; and Jimmy (Crispin Glover), the insecure loser who's meant to mirror Shelly from Part 3. Yeah, he mopes and complains, but Jimmy is not seen as pathetically as Shelly, even though Ted constantly makes fun of his libido by calling him a "dead fuck." Of course, the irony of all this is the fact that director Joseph Zito decides to reward the nice nerdy guy and humiliate the trash talking wannabe stud. To our surprise, Jimmy does get some action, and it's a good thing since we know his demise will be right around the corner. Same for Ted, who naturally gets overlooked by the girls, finds an old stag film, and has to get his rocks off by watching a series of unattractive women dance naked.

The pattern that has been consistent in all four Friday the 13th movies so far is that the sole survivor is the virginal teenage girl. They may not be sane when the whole thing is done, but they are still alive. The one in this entry is probably the least interesting thus far, although her character really bares little importance. Instead, the picture spends a good bit of time on her pre-teen brother, Tommy (Corey Feldman), who's interests show that he's somewhat of a kindred spirit to Jason. The early scenes with him fascinate; his mother comes off as a bit overbearing, which reminds of Mrs. Voorhees's behavior from the first picture. He makes his own creature masks, proving that, like Jason, what's normal lives within you and is not based on what other's can see. Interesting then that Jason hides his hideous face with a plain mask while Tommy covers his regular features with ugliness.

Tommy's connection to Jason comes full circle during the climax when he has to save his sister from being slashed. The way Tommy's retaliation is shot turns out to be quite chilling, as it shows him stabbing Jason over and over but the camera only focuses on the aggressor. Jason's demise in this picture is his most gruesome yet, appropriate given how uncompromising the rest of it is. This is the first movie in the series where I can say I found the violence genuinely disturbing. Tom Savini came back on board, only because he was told Jason was getting killed off for good (I wonder how he feels now), and his gore effects are top notch as expected (Savini and director Joseph Zito previously teamed up on the equally viscous The Prowler). You never feel truly sorry for any of the characters; how could you? If a Friday the 13th movie were to create sympathetic characters, it would defeat the purpose of watching it in the first place and in essence, Jason would have no reason to exist.

So, the movie was said to be "the final chapter" and yet, another surfaced soon after. I think Jason's hand continuing to twitch after he's taken down should be a good enough indicator that he's not ready to die. Having finally reached his peak (and having been killed twice), Jason's cynicism is certain to only grow deeper. What's more intriguing, though, is to see what the series will do with the Tommy Jarvis character. Being that he is the first pre-teen to come along, there's a lot of potential to continue the development of his and Jason's "relationship." And with the assumption that Tommy's mother is dead (she disappears and is not seen again), a whole other door of connections are opened with ways to push Tommy over the edge. The possibilities are as exciting as they are unpredictable, and Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter is the best entry the series has offered so far.


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Copyright, Hell and Beyond, 2008

On the Brink of Manhood: Steve Miner's Friday the 13th Part III

Due to the lukewarm box office success of Friday the 13th Part 2, the third installment was supposed to bring the series to an end. To go out with a bang, the studio figured they might be able to cash in on the 3D bandwagon. With Steve Miner back in the director's chair, you'd think the movie would follow in the footsteps of its predecessor when it came to style and tone. This does not turn out to be the case, though; strangely enough, Miner has a made a movie that is a true conundrum, and not all of it has to do with the corny 3D inspired shots.

As with Part 2, but thankfully without an over abundance of footage, the new movie opens by showing the final showdown between Jason and Ginny. News footage reveals she was taken to the hospital and that's the last we ever hear of her. At first, I figured Jason would be driven on finishing her off, but since she didn't kill his mother, he must have forgotten her quickly. Thanks (or no thanks) to Ginny, it's doubtful Jason will fall for someone pretending to be his mother again, since he clearly saw her severed head while being taunted. The movie's true opening scene involves a bitter couple who own a convenience store. The husband sneaks junk food off the shelves while his bitchy wife complains about his eating habits and the fact he won't help with the laundry. Like the classic scene at the end of Part 2 containing the dog, the new entry features a bunny rabbit whose meant to represent a false sense of security. This time, however, Miner makes it quite apparent no one will be safe by showing two shots of dead rabbits, one of which is roadkill.

That the couple gets it should come as no surprise, even though this opening is definitely not what I was expecting from a Friday the 13th movie. For the first time, the characters are quite cartoonish, and it doesn't stop there. The principal players are just as goofy and don't really look like they belong together. There are six teenagers (or early twenty somethings, take your pick) and two middle aged hippies. These are the horniest young people we've come across so far - even the nice guys seem to be itchy in the pants. In that sense, I guess you could say it makes them more deserving of Jason's wraith than the poor suckers from Part 2. While some of them were painted sympathetically, there's only one character this time we might even want to see survive (and she does).

The setting this time is a cabin the survivor, Chris (Dana Kimmell), lived in as a child. The build up to the kills has a few new elements, each of them centered around Shelly (Larry Zerner), a helpless nerd who gets set up with one of Chris's friends. He's insecure to say the least, trying to gain acceptance by faking his death with a phony hatchet to the head or sneaking up on someone while they're sitting at the boat dock. His real breakthrough comes when he stands up to a trio of bikers by running over one their motorcycles. When this happened, I wondered if Miner wanted us to like Shelly, but due to his annoying behavior, it's hard to tell. If anything, he's unquestionably the most original character to emerge in a Friday the 13th movie so far and the only one who looks like he has a good relationship with an adult (we get a quick glimpse of a photo in his wallet of him with his mother). Ultimately, he turns out to be just as disposable as the rest - the bikers are only in the movie to throw Jason a few more people to slash (and to provide some comic relief - it's amusing when one of them just happens to still be alive at the end).

The performances are the worst the series has offered so far. They were serviceable in the first two movies, so what happened this time? The tone is all over the map. It's as if Miner wanted to take his sense of fun from Part 2 and let it run haywire. If you don't believe me, just listen to the score during the opening credits. Instead of the classic theme, we get some discoesque concoction that sounds like it belongs on a '70s sci-fi program. Speaking of which, everyone in the movie acts like they're from another planet; even Jason, who's not quite as clumsy as he was in the last movie, slumbers around like he's just learned how to walk.

Jason seems to be more in tune with what he is once the movie starts rolling. It's as if the ending to Part 2 made him aware that his mother really is dead and he does not have to kill for her. He's simply doing it because that's the only thing he knows how to do. Critic Alex Jackson suggests it's his way of trying to connect with others, which is an easy idea to accept. When he tries to kill someone and they fight back, why shouldn't he think they're just trying to speak his language? It's no stretch either to say that Jason's sprees could be viewed as a kind of game. Look at the finale when he literally tears a barn apart trying to find Chris. It all plays like a psychotic version of hide and seek, especially since he knows there's no one left after her (it's as if he still doesn't know how to cope with running out of people to kill). The murders are pretty brutal, but any real shock value is sucked away by the attempt to have them work with the 3D gimmick. The biggest groaner is easily a scene where Jason squeezes a guy's head until his eye pops out and shoots straight at the camera. The non 3D murders are the most graphic the series has offered so far, suggesting, and we'll get into this more later, that Jason is either enjoying what he's doing or is treating it like a chore that needs to be marked off a list.

There are two things about the movie that stood out over everything else. One is the physical look of the women. In the past two, they've all been shown in skimpy outfits, tight jeans, or lingerie at some time or another; in Part 3, only one women is ever shown in a bikini and when she does get naked, the bare body shots are so quick you'll probably miss them (not to mention we discover she's pregnant, which could be an automatic mood killer). The other women are dressed in very unflattering clothes. Miner has more or less stripped all the sexual appeal out of the movie, which is fascinating because it makes the female characters more innocent and less deserving of their violent deaths. I also find it fascinating that so many people think Friday the 13th movies are only about camp counsellors getting picked off. From what I can tell, Jason does not discriminate, and has probably killed just as many middle aged folks as he has teens.

The second point I wanted to make was about Jason himself. I mentioned earlier how awkwardly he walks, but even more so, there's something odd about his whole demeanor. In this picture, he looks like nothing more than a big man, meaning that he's still developing. The more he kills, the more he'll evolve until eventually, he'll be a towering force. At this point, he feels pain and is vocal about it, not unlike a kid with a skinned knee. Jason bleeds too, and is himself killed at the end of the picture, at first leading us to believe he is dead. Taking a cue from the original movie, Chris wakes up in a canoe and thinks she sees Jason, unmasked, looking at her from an upstairs window in the cabin. It is at that point, Jason's dead and decrepit mother comes out of the water and grabs her. This could be read as a tacked on attempt to let us know the studio changed their mind about ending the franchise; I'd rather see it as a way of showing that now, Jason and his mother are one and the same.

Friday the 13th Part III is a bit disappointing in the long run. Maybe if Steve Miner had not come back, it wouldn't have felt that way. I just had hoped he'd push Jason's transition a little further than he does. Instead, too much time is wasted on the dopey 3D, a decision that gives the production a sloppy overall feel it probably wouldn't have had otherwise. Due to the 3D, the movie was shot in the scope aspect ratio (it's the only entry in the series that isn't matted), and it hurts the movie on a tension level. It's harder to build an environment of claustrophobia when there's so much open space. I'm relieved the series never used it again. There's plenty to chew on in Friday the 13th Part III; it's not quite as entertaining as Part 2, although it is pretty kick ass to see Jason with his signature hockey mask for the first time.


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Copyright, Hell and Beyond, 2008

How Fast Can You Swim?: Greg McLean's Rogue

Greg McLean's Wolf Creek is quite possibly the most underrated horror movie of the decade. Unfairly labeled as "torture porn" and dumped in theaters on Christmas Day(!) by those dastardly Weinsteins, the picture was terrifying, and it wasn't just because of the violence. McLean created real characters and put them in a place that was at once uncomfortable and dangerous. By doing this, throwing a madman into the mix felt like an added threat to the already apparent tension. McLean is a native Australian, so it's interesting that his movies make the viewer leery about wanting to visit.

Given my enthusiasm in regards to Wolf Creek, I couldn't wait to see what McLean would do next. The Weinsteins came back on board as producers for his follow up, Rogue, but as expected, the project got screwed over. Early buzz was exciting, which inexplicably wasn't enough for the former Miramax heads, so they gave the picture an almost invisible theatrical run and then dumped it on video. The fact I did not get to experience Rogue on the big screen is a shame to be sure, for like Wolf Creek, it features jaw dropping cinematography you don't normally see in a horror picture - especially one that revolves around a thirty foot crocodile.

Yep, it's true, Greg McLean has made a creature feature and at first, I can't say I was too crazy about the idea. What made Wolf Creek so effective was the way it championed genuine suspense over traditional horror tactics. My assumption (and you know what is said about those) was that since McLean was making a killer crocodile picture, it was going to be an excuse for him to have a bloodthirsty monster turn a bunch of frightened humans into lunch. Instead of taking the easy way out though, McLean has called my bluff and made a movie that works for many of the same reasons his last one did. It's not quite as strong as Wolf Creek, but still rather impressive.

The picture's greatest weakness is its characters. The main focus is on Pete (Michael Vartan), a travel magazine journalist who is in Australia for a couple of days and decides to take a boat tour guided by Kate (the gorgeous Radha Mitchell). The ten or so other tourists are your usual assortment of horror movie cutouts, automatically leading us to believe they're all going to end up devoured by the time the final credits roll. That they don't is to McLean's credit. He's more concerned with establishing a series of hyper tense moods based on the characters' fear of when the crocodile will strike. It's strange the way he throws in nice little moments for a few of the characters but never takes things further than that.

The early scenes of the movie are filled with unbelievably luscious aerial shots of Australia that, according to McLean, have never been seen on film before. Eventually, all the beautiful landscapes lead to an overhead view of the tour boat riding through a narrow path, a sure sign that something bad is on the horizon. As expected, the crocodile lets the tourists know they're on his turf by ramming the boat and causing a leak that leaves it shipwrecked on a small island. Land would normally be a welcome sight; that is, until someone notices that the tide is coming in and before sundown, there won't be a dry area left to stand on.

McLean has definitely studied his monster movies. The crocodile is kept well hidden for almost an hour, although there are a handful of appropriate teases pertaining to his actual size. The attacks are nicely spread out and amazingly, we don't see very many of them occur. This is certain to disappoint genre fans, but for those who like to put themselves in the characters' shoes, it makes the situation that much scarier. Even given the limited setting once the boat crashes, McLean still manages to keep the visuals appealing. The nighttime scenes are rather striking, mainly when pertaining to the long shots.

Naturally, a movie like Rogue needs a worthy monster, and I was quite taken with the one on display here. A combination of puppetry and CGI, the crocodile only looks fake during a couple of scenes. It's a good thing too, because otherwise, the Final Showdown (which may very well be the best act of the picture) would have zero chance of succeeding. I can understand why McLean wanted to make Rogue; what horror director wouldn't want to helm a creature feature? As I mentioned before though, if it's gore or elaborate kills you're looking for, you'd be better off renting Lake Placid, Alligator, or the dozens of low budget killer crocodile movies that are currently collecting dust on many a video store shelves. This picture is in a different league than the others (though I must confess Alligator is pretty fun), even if I can say it's a step forward for McLean. More than anything, it's further proof his career is one worth following.

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Copyright, Hell and Beyond, 2008

The Adolescence of Jason: Steve Miner's Friday the 13th Part 2

Paramount Pictures must have been overwhelmed with the success of Friday the 13th, given that the sequel was released almost exactly one year after its predecessor. Sean S. Cunningham handed the directing duties over to Steve Miner, who was obviously proud to be contributing to this growing franchise. Before the pre-credit sequence, there's a title card letting us know we're about to watch "A Steve Miner Film," so if we enjoy it there's no question who we should thank. My guess would be that Miner was excited about making Friday the 13th Part 2 because he got to give us our first glimpse of Jason in action. The result is not quite what I was expecting.

The pre-credit sequence is so overdone it's exhausting. Alice (once again played by Adrienne King), the lone survivor of Mrs. Voorhees's reign of terror, is having a nightmare made up of footage from the first movie. A few refreshers would be sufficient, but for some reason, Miner feels the need to assault us with about a dozen clips. By the time the actual movie starts, I was relieved and a bit weary about what I was getting into. It's a frequent rule in horror sequels that the survivor from the last movie is not allowed to live in this one, and shortly after Alice's flashbacks of torment, Jason finds her. He's all grown up now and living in the woods near Crystal Lake, complete with his mother's severed head and the sweater she wore while avenging his death.

The set up is very similar to the one from the first movie. The counselors arrive at camp a few days early in order to get things ready and are eventually the victims of an unstoppable killing force. What sets this entry apart from the last chapter is the approach to the material. Miner has a lot of fun playing with the conventions, and actually builds some real suspense in ways I would not have anticipated. I mentioned in the last review how the most likable character, the one I expected to live to the end, was the first one taken out. I had a similar vibe this time when an attractive blond named Ginny (Amy Steel)is introduced. She arrives late, and when the head counselor scolds her, she responds by saying she is sorry and she will not be late again for the rest of her life. It seems like this should be a red flag, but sure enough, Ginny, who certainly comes close to getting slashed on a number of occasions, is still alive once the end credits roll.

The voyeuristic POV tactic felt ripped off from Halloween in the first movie, so instead of simply duplicating the style, Miner uses it as an opportunity to make the audience uncomfortable. The camera stalks the characters even when Jason isn't around, which leads to some truly surprising shots. The most impressive aspect of it is the fact he's able to get mileage out of doing this throughout the whole movie. It could have worn out its welcome really fast, but every so often, Miner will find a way to wink at the audience to give us some relief (like when a character who has been skinny dipping throws her towel over the camera).

Surprisingly, the first counselor isn't offed until about the fifty one minute mark. There are a few murders before then, but I must say I hadn't really noticed how much time had passed because the movie was having such a good time toying with me. The killings, just as in the first movie, are not particularly scary but just as brutal. Jason apparently took a cue from his mother, as he prefers sharp weapons and his objective is for the victim to die quickly. Although while Jason's mother felt she was being "guided" by her son to kill, there's never any evidence (at least not until the end) that Mrs. Voorhees is asking Jason to avenge her death. During the climactic chase, Ginny finds Jason's hideout and puts his mother's sweater on, convinced that seeing it will be enough to fool him into believing she is his mother.

It makes sense because as far as we can tell, Jason has no perception of the difference between male and female. His entrance at the end of the first movie was technically his "birth" (he came out of the water, after all), so this would serve as his period of adolescence. Miner handles it with a great deal of awkwardness and bizarre humor. Jason, while super strong, is a bit of a klutz and gets caught off guard on several instances. My favourite has to be when Ginny is hiding under the bed and Jason decides to wait for her by standing on a chair. Once she begins to creep out, he lunges to stab her with a pitchfork and loses his balance.

As shown at the end of the first movie, Jason has a deformed face. Somehow he has become conscious of this, so he keeps himself disguised with a cloth sack that contains one eye hole. It is inevitable that we will see his face at some point, so at the tail end of the picture, when he flies through a window to let the audience know he's not dead, his grotesque features are displayed front and center. The set up to his reveal is priceless. Horror pictures love to create a false sense of hope at the end, especially when we damn well know the killer isn't dead (I don't know how the characters could have thought Jason was dead after slicing into his shoulder with a machete). Ginny and her boyfriend finally believe they are safe, and they rest easier when one of the other counselor's lost dog (named Muffin) wanders back to the cabin. Just as they are beaming over the tiny furball, Jason comes crashing in.

I mentioned in the last review how the first movie felt like all setup. Friday the 13th Part 2 should be the beginning of the payoff but interestingly, it still feels like more setup. Is this a weakness? Yes and no. Yes, because it's taking the series a long time to find a consistent rhythm and no because Jason needs time to get comfortable with what he is. I say "what" instead of "who" because there is no proof that Jason is human anymore. After drowning, he was re-born not as a man, but an instrument of destruction. This is an area I am looking to see explored more as the series progresses, and the fact Miner came back to make Part 3 gives me hope he will continue to find new ways to keep the same set up fresh. Let's keep our fingers crossed.


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Copyright, Hell and Beyond, 2008